| Where the sidewalk ends |
[Dec. 20th, 2006|11:59 pm] |
So, after the storm on Thursday, I realized that somehow I've managed to walk off the edge of the world. Not sure how, exactly, but suddenly I am no longer in society, I am a free man, I walk with the wind and speak the language of ancient whispers; everything around me is suddenly beautiful, and I cannot help but to breath the fresh air, the fresh mountain air of the maddening heights, and yet, it's so peaceful up here ...
I will meet the love of my life on Saturday at my church's Family Candlelight Service. There is something of a tacit agreement between the minister and I that I shall marry his (older) daughter, there's really no question any longer, and I saw him bless a child last Sunday and I was there, I felt it so deep that my soul ached with blessed laughter, and my God, I am in love, so, so deeply, every day is but this strange anticipation that my life is about to explode, is about to burst into the radiant sunshine of a thousand feathers of gold, falling, a soulful atomic bomb, exploding, one single word, but so, so much, Hello, Laila ...
I have been so airy lately, I have felt wings growing, I have felt the wind beneath them and I am taking off, am taking off,
Life, what is this thing they call ... Life? I don't know, it seems ... strange, so strange, yet so ... beautiful, I don't ... comprehend, yet, yet, just to be, to sing this song, to breathe, to breathe, what am I to know this, who to have, to hold, the only thing being is to let it flow, to give it away, it is too much to hold!
It is the Tao, the ancient Way, I have found this strange mountain valley, this strange primal soul, and now to share it with her, and to climb this mountain together, to fly! Oh to be alive!
My dreams, my dreams, how they grew; my life, how I strove, how I yearned, how I studied, how I practiced; my thoughts, how I delved, how I pierced that primal darkness that says "I am;" and oh, how to have been so near the entire time, and yet it was so far, and oh, for it all to have happened, to have landed here, to have suddenly, out of nowhere, landed in my waiting life, and oh, what joy! What absolute joy!
I can scarcely believe it all, now, and to think that it even just barely happened, that it may not have - my soul, my soul, you bawk at the thought, you nauseate, for it must have happened, yes, I cannot imagine anything else, for here, it is perfect -
I can think of nothing else, now, my entire life becomes an engine gathering steam, an albatross taking flight, a cell taking form centered around her, and the beauty, the beauty, always the beauty, and I see it, now, like a painting, like a vision, like a dream, like a symphony, and I hear the music, and the voices, and the grand opera, and the grand design, and it suddenly is all here, and no more to worry, my child, no more to fret, no more to cry, everything, everything, is all alright, all the pain will be over soon, all the evil washed away, the nightmare is over, you can awaken now, and the morning lights are sunrise of the ancients, and everything is perfect again,
And after all that is over, and the day's work is done, and we sit back for a glass of wine, and the sunset casts a glow over the mountains and the hills, and the Earth itself smiles with us, and we just are, quite simply, and we know, and there is but this single and simple imperative -
Let us rest, friends, let us rest, let us rest, let us rest. |
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